Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Official Post of Scary Hairstyles I Saw in Spain

I really don´t know what cultural impetus is at work to cause an otherwise fashionable people to have the worst hairdos on planet Earth. For the reader´s benefit, I will keep my list brief, but by no means exhaustive.
1. The Dread-Mullet.
I was going to include a picture, but the paltry examples I found on Google images simply don´t do this phenomenon justice. Basically, the dread-mullet, or drullet is the ultimate in "business in front, party in back." You see an otherwise normally dressed person with a normal haircut walking toward you, then you turn around and BOOM, between two and four gangly dreads sticking right out of the neckline hanging down to the ass. Some more professional drullet sporters tuck their natty dreadlocks into the back of a shirt or jacket making the tips all the more obvious.
2. The "Yo No Sé Que" Vampire Huntress.
I´ve seen at least two of these so far, so it´s a safe bet that there´s more out there. Basically a gothic variant of the drullet, this involves super-long, super-strait, super-black hair in the back and extremely close-cropped Lily Allen bangs in the front. Here´s the kicker, these girls maximize the squarishness of an already boxy hairstyle by SHAVING a perfect rectangle out of their temples. They don´t bother maintaining the shave either, so the resulting peach fuzz looks truly horrifying. You need to see it to believe it.
3. The Double-Poirot
I´m not joking, there was an old man in the Valencia train station with an ivory-white Poirot-style moustache on both his upper lip and his chin. Prepare for trouble, make it double. Sleep now, Nyquil calls...


  1. wow...well I definitely wish you had picture samplings of each. you should have gotten stealth with your camera. fascinating.

  2. So now you understand why Messiah's EuroTrash party will never live up to the truly horrifying reality of actual Artois-drinking mullet maniacs.

  3. oh, also, rat-tails, which I hadn't seen since like 2nd grade and even back then I made fun of the kids who had then until my mom told be that it was mean to make fun of kids with rat-tails since their mom was probably a smack-head and they didn't know any better. over here though, i see grown adults with them. too weird